From Hating Attention to Chasing It

Hey everyone, it’s my first post here :-)

So, something I've been thinking a lot about is how getting attention still is the hardest part of the game for me.

Growing up, fitting in and hanging out wasn't my strong suit. It definitely got way better later on, but I still carry this weird anxiety about being social, even today (I’m 40 now). On video calls with new clients or if I run into someone I know on the street (not close friends), inevitably I’ll leave the exchange with my shirt drenched in sweat.

Some 12 years ago or so, I started nomading around the world. But despite being genuinely excited about it, I barely posted anything online. I had this fear that sharing my 'amazing life' would somehow make my friends and family feel bad about theirs. Plus, with all the talk about privacy online, locking everything down just felt... safer. No public posts, no online display about my life or work. Recognition, fame, any kind of spotlight... the thought of it freaked me out. Even my Twitter account was private for most of the past 10 years.

As you can expect, finding clients for my dev biz isn’t easy. My only source of work is Upwork (maybe the most hated client source?) and recommendations from those clients. That's all my anti-attention rules allowed me.

Now, I don't want to paint myself as some kind of sad story here. Life's been pretty good! I achieved all my old personal goals, saw the world, I have an amazing wife, and things went very well financially.

But finally, about a month ago, I saw through this narrative, this fear. And slowly started to work against it. Honestly, I’m a bit ashamed it took me this long to fight it. I decided to take a leap and start chasing the attention I used to run from.

I set my twitter account public again. I started tweeting about my work and thoughts. Hell, I even did a live code session, showing my face and all! Here I am on indie hackers posting this as well :-) I opensourced my Sales AI Tool, all to attract attention.

It’s early days. I still haven’t found any traction. I’m mostly talking to myself all this time. But I’m genuinely having fun!

Chasing business is positive. Chasing attention too. Just don’t clickbait people. Or engage in dark patterns in your service. 

It feels pretty wild to be chasing the thing I used to run from. Wondering if this journey resonates with anyone else here. Excited (and a bit nervous!) to see how this adventure goes!

Big thanks to @philz1337x (https://x.com/philz1337x) for sharing about his experience with opensource and attention and @jackfriks (https://x.com/jackfriks) for the build in public mindset.

And feel free to say hi here or on twitter https://x.com/vitorpepz :-)