Is disingenuousness required for success?
Im a developer and just getting into this whole maker scene.
I've been absorbing a lot of content about marketing and content and networking. I'm really having a hard time accepting the disingenuousness.
A common thing is "get to where your users are", "sell before you build". So I'm joining sites like this and discords with exactly one intention. Never would I have ever joined or posted anything, if I didn't want something from them. From you.
I really dislike the extreme obviousness of the whole thing.
- I need to write copy on my landing page in a way i would never speak or write.
- You see a post here or on similar forums and it always starts with "hey im the founder of mysite and I think that......", that post is not made to answer that question, its made to post the link and get people to click on it.
- I was forced to make comments that I wouldnt have made, because my account needed to have some comments so i could post this.
- People create a thread for feedback on their thing, then reply to every comment with "hey I really like your project too link... ".
- People create a thread asking for "what haven't you marketed" then reply to every comment with "hey cool, I recently brought a similar project to x MMR, lets chat".
Its so in your face what everyone is doing.
I also understand the necessity of it. Lets say I really did build something cool and useful. I need to tell people. That's marketing.
I need to cut myself off here, I could ramble on for pages i think.
How do you deal with this? Does anyone feel similar?
Call me biased but I don't consider it disingenuous! I just think we all play genuinely different roles in different contexts.
When I was a server at a Japanese restaurant at 20 years old, the genuine role I played was to offer excellent, cheerful service in exchange for big tips. I doubt any patrons clicked their tongues disapprovingly and withheld their tips because "he's only smiling and saying nice things because he wants my money."
I'm a genuinely different person depending on the role I'm playing. Different around my girlfriend's mother than I am around my 10-year-old cousin. Different around my brother than around the guy that runs the bodega next door. The key is that some roles and relationships are explicitly transactional... and that's okay!
My heartfelt recommendation is this: rather than asking zero-sum questions like "is this person trying to get something from me?" ask positive-sum questions like "is this person's information actually helpful or insightful to me?"
I don't dislike thinking about it as a positive sum game, that is what it is.. probably.
I think my predisposition is just to have a really high threshold of "energy put in" before I ask random people for their time.
Maybe the absolute optimum amount of energy (whatever that means) to put in is 20.
Naturally some people will tell you "go fast, put in 5 energy then validate".
My requirement to not feel awkward is maybe 50 energy. It's definitely suboptimal, but it's not something I can change on a whim or through logical thinking alone.
I feel you, because I felt exactly like that before I became an indiehacker.
I hated being outgoing in the beginning. I felt bad each time I was posting very obvious "blabla click here" stuff. After some time though I developed my own style. An authentic me that is not (too) market-y, it took some time to develop.
What I realised is that there are a ton of people out there just trying to sell, hustle, market in your face and it shows. Easily noticable. They don't feel real. And not being real causes stress and that leads to burnout. Not worth it. Therefore, be authentic. Or at least try to be. :)
So, my tip would be too read more and try to find authentic people to follow and to develop your own style. Being a cringy, fake marketer is not a requirement for success. Just ignore them.
i don't judge others on my values, to each their own. I just make sure that i don't do what is against my values and i am fine with the consequences that it brings as result of it :-)
I know the feeling!
I think the most important thing is to be genuine in your interactions with people. If you're trying to sell something, don't try to hide that fact. But also be aware of what your goals are and be strategic in how you approach people.
This comment was deleted 3 years ago