Is this the best selling approach?

Hi everyone!
In a couple of weeks the startup where I work will launch a super innovative cloud storage software. I will be handling the "contact sales" department and, for this reason, I'd like to have feedback on my sale's pitch and demo presentation. I know it's not about landing page feedback, but nevertheless I'm looking for tips on how to improve the sales process :)
Is there any good soul willing to help me out? Any help you can provide me will be much appreciated!
Thank you! M.