Tear This Landing Page Apart (I Can Take It)

This is the blog on Indie Hackers from someone :-

Tear This Landing Page
Apart (I Can Take It)

Alright IH crew, I know you all live for a good landing page roast, so here’s your shot. My site is live, the offer is clear (or maybe it’s not?), and I want your rawest, most unfiltered feedback.

🚀 The Premise: AI-powered local marketing agencies, exclusive city territories, high-ticket recurring revenue.

❌ What Might Suck?: Maybe I’m overusing urgency. Maybe the CTA is too pushy. Maybe I should just go back to flipping burgers. You tell me.

🎯 What I Want: Anything that makes the page convert harder. If you can break it, I’ll fix it. If you just want to hear yourself talk, at least make it entertaining.

Here’s the link: https://smartwebagencies.com
Daniel Morel
posted to
Icon for group Landing Page Feedback

🔥 MOST IMPORTANT RULES

Personalize EVERY message
→ Mention their idea (AI, SaaS, app, etc.)
Always use this line:
“Prize pool just opened at $0. Your odds are the best right now.”
Do not spam
Do not send the same message to everyone
Focus on quality conversations

Competition -

This might sound interesting 👇
You have an idea
$19 entry
🏆 Tokyo trip + hotel
💰 $500
Round just opened 👉 tokyolore.com

Here are some thoughts.

I think the biggest issue is that the messaging is too generic and abstract. There's nothing unique or particularly compelling about what you're saying. Try to present concrete facts in specific and meaningful terms.

Offering a bit more detail would help, too. Walk people through what you're offering and how it will deliver on what you're promising. Try to anticipate and answer questions and address potential objections.

The next biggest issue, as @IndieSachan pointed out is a lack of trust-building elements. Why should people believe you? Add testimonials, results, case studies, figures, etc.

Finally, I think your offer needs to be clarified and strengthened.

If you're going to include a price, as you do by one of the CTAs, you need to justify the price you’re asking. Show how this will deliver more than what your prospective customers are giving. By introducing price, you’re also taking them mentally to the end of the sale prematurely. If the CTA leads to a form to book a call, why not try to sell that?

In fact, that would make all these CTAs stronger than they currently are. Using benefits and verbs for the button text is good, but how is clicking on those going to do that? People want an idea of the more immediate expectations.

Hope that helps. Best of luck.

What's your current conversion rate?

Apart from the issues highlighted by @Enthoosa below are the areas I feel you should also focus on:

1. Trust factor is missing though out the page - No existing client information, testimonials etc. To build trust you need to show me known names or logos that you have worked with them.
2. Reading the Hero Section - You’re saying what you aren’t, but not what you are. You sound like a cost-cutter, not a growth enabler. That’s the wrong positioning for a premium service. No proof. No how. No hook. It's a generic feature masked as a benefit. You should be talking to a ICP its not mentioned. You can change the headline to something on the lines of - "You Don’t Need a Bigger Ad Budget. You Need a Smarter Funnel."
3. Instead of generic statements, highlight unique features or success metrics. "Increase your qualified leads by ~35% in 60 days with our AI-driven marketing platform."
4. The video in hero section seems to be robotic — Video + Audio. This might result in lacking the authenticity.
5. "Smarter Marketing, Better Results" Section — "proven systems" and "measurable results" are very generic. Examples like - "Our AI algorithms analyze customer behavior to optimize ad spend, resulting in a 20% increase in ROI for our clients." Works better.
6. Run Your AI-Assisted Business from Anywhere - real image of the mobile app or interface you are offering along with your subtle branding will work better.
7. As we go down the page is selling different thing a membership. Diluted positioning.

It is better than anything I can produce.
I can spot subtle things that detract from the vibe:

1. The slow load of images or video (make sure images are smaller?)
2. The colors feel clunky... I'm not strong enough in design to know WHY but... I'm thinking that first section shouldn't be shaded in grey... like you'd fill a hero section with color if you had a eye catching color, but shouldn't fill it with grey... also just straight black and straight grey and straight green... just find a well designed site and copy their 3 colors
3. The look doesn't match the value proposition... when people think of "marketing" they think (perhaps wrongly) of ads and copy and persuasion... so you expect a "designed" feel... whereas the text smart web agencies doesn't have a feel of "design"... like def don't waste time on a logo but maybe grab an exotic looking font or something for that
4. Your buttons don't have a clear CTA... I don't REALLY know what happens when I push them... and when I do, I'm slightly surprised it is about booking a call... I thought I might get services or pricing or even another page... one trick some other IH used was buttons with "Free Consultation"... because it signals a "call" but also seems like a a benefit